My Aunty!

"Aunty", the word is probably the second most used English word that Indians inherited from the British. First being "Sir", which is a word better left to the knights but its a bit too complex. Just like the railways, another popular and productive legacy of the British, that crisscrosses through the country, these words, too, have made inroads to most parts of the Country and are widely used by people from all walks of life.

I grew up in a State built gated community for middle income group (MIG Flats by Tamilnadu Housing Board) in the metro city of Chennai, India. All 136 flats, 8 in each block from A to Q were uniformly designed 700 square feet apartments. Each had 2 spacious bedrooms, one with attached toilet, a living room, kitchen, a common toilet and 2 balconies. The last being my favorite dugout where 50% of my childhood 'wonder- hours' were spent!

I learnt many life-skills, from cooking to confidence and communication to compassion from many aunties in that community. They were mostly my friends mother or other elderly women in the community who took interest in my development. Most were graduates, in arts or science, pursing doctorate as home-makers! Some had not even finished school. But, they were really good in what schools now teach as SUPW, value education and home economics. 

There is one such aunty, our immediate neighbour, who played a very important role in my early years and up until my youth. She turned 80 this year and I gave her a surprise visit with my children. She was the first person I addressed as aunty. I would have been 5 or 6 years old then and in the next 40 years, up to now, I may have addressed 1000s more as aunty. But, I have a very special bond with her and the rest is history, or should I say herstory!

Most mornings would start greeting her from either of the two balconies. On special days it included exchanging delicacies in baskets hooked to the end of a long bamboo stick. I learnt basic cooking, making dosa and omelet, from her while my mother was making the same for my father who used to be on long deputations away from home. My mother would confidently leave both her teens under the supervision of this aunty who herself had three children to take care of, much older than me and my sister though.

She used to help me with the correct usage of English language. I still remember the day when she corrected me, "You should say, today is my birthday". Till then I used to go around distributing sweets saying, "Today is my happy birthday!", I would have been 7 years then and English was not my first language :-)

She used to advocate maintaining good health and introduced me to ab-wheel-roller to strengthen my core. She used to proudly campaign about progress, I would make, to other children in the community and it continues even today. She finds it hard to believe that I now have children who are old enough to comprehend the special bond I shared with her when I was their age!

My wife tells me her students in the school she recently joined, call her Aunty. It happens to be that school's policy and culture that children must address teachers as "aunty"! I am 100% supportive of this culture. In fact, I would be happy to re-write the age-old phrase to "Matha, pitha, aunty, deivam!". 

©Balaji Palanidurai